SEX- What it is (and isn't)

What is sex? It is crazy how a simple three-letter word like 'sex' can cause so much controversy whenever it is mentioned. I quite remember the very first time my little sister asked me what it was.Yup. In my head i was thinking WT*! I wondered what would prompt a little seven-year old to want to know what sex was. I probably almost yelled 'It's none of your business!'Somehow I felt I wasn't the right person to give her the right answers. I mean I wasn't her mum and I definitely didn't do the 'in and out' thing (or sideways and diagonal things people do nowadays) that produced her. So I simply told her I didn't know what sex was and bolted. I cannot say I'm proud of how I handled the situation but I was quite ignorant about sex myself. I knew what sex was of course. I just didn't know how to answer her question. Back then, sex was too dicey a topic to talk about. Fortunately times have changed and the issue of sex is now less controversial in our Ghanaian society. So let's talk sex!

What exactly is sex? It is a little difficult to say what it is exactly considering all the new variances of sex which seem to be springing up out of nowhere- nowhere being the western world. You could talk about oral or anal or outer-course and it would all be branded as the same thing-SEX. The proper question to ask therefore is ''What counts as sex?" To the best of my knowledge sex involves two people (or 3 or 4...) giving each other sexual pleasure resulting in one or both partners experiencing an orgasm. Since sex is such an intimate act, it is usually (and should be) practiced between two consenting individuals [of sound mind]. You really don't want to wake up and find yourself in bed with a psychopath who wants to eat you for breakfast! That's some Black Widow shit.

Sex is everywhere. In the air, on land, underwater, maybe in space I think (I'm wondering if there were any women aboard the Apollo 11 with Neil). People have sex basically everywhere they can; movies, prisons, elevators, in the Accra Mall washrooms and parking lots, swimming pools, boats-everywhere they can! I remember asking my Life-skills (In Ghana we do Life-skills not Sex Ed.) teacher why people had sex. All she told was that sex was for procreation. But that's not the only reason why people bang. When two people love each other, they have sex (or made love) to express how they feel about each other. Although both reasons are true, they aren't exactly the most potent of reasons. Trust me I learned the 'sweet' way. The real reason why there is so much fuckery going on is because sex is the greatest feeling that simultaneously stimulates your senses in the most pleasurable ways. I'm not saying 'Hey y'all, get up and start fucking each other 'cos sex is the bomb.' I'm just saying what sex is. And besides, sex entails more than physical contact and insertion of a penis into a vagina. It involves a whole lot; the feeling of oneness with  your partner as well as the emotional and psychological connection with him or her.

Talking about the various controversies surrounding sex, a lot of people associate their problems to it; granted they may be having too little or too much sex. I know sex to be a lot of things but definitely not the problem. Sex isn't keeping you from scoring an 'A' in Maths or getting you late to work in the morning- It may seem like it's because of sex but it really isn't. Sex doesn't make your cooking taste like a mixture of cheese and ketchup or make you smell like crap. Sex didn't give you a flat tire (or did it?) or a computer virus ( porn probably did). Most problems you face, you face because of your own actions. You probably wouldn't have had that flat tire if you hadn't banged your 180kg partner in your car, right? Sex didn't cause the flat tire, your decision to bang her (or him) in your car instead of a bed caused it. I'm just saying.

Sex is great. Sex feels good when done at the right time. It pays to wait. But if you can't, ah well...Just remember sex is a big deal and you wouldn't want to rush into it if you aren't ready for it. So evaluate yourself and organize your priorities. Does sex fall into your short term goals? Or you'd rather wait and enjoy it at a time when you're physically, emotionally and psychologically mature to indulge in it? The ball is in your court. Choose wisely!


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